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“Poor Fanny expired following a fall during the Boxing-Day hunt some years ago, but Sir Lewis wished for a memento. It is intended for use as a fly-switch, but I think it looks much better as a tail. Do you not agree, Collins?”“Why, yes, your Ladyship, but …”“Then let us see whether we can restore it to its former glory,” said Lady Catherine, rubbing her hands up and down the shaft of the fly-switch. She walked round behind Mr Collins, and placed the metal tip of the handle, which was fortunately quite slender, against the entrance to his back passage. Then with one smooth movement, she pushed the handle deep up into Mr Collins’s behind.Mr Collins let out a squeal of pain and surprise. While this was by no means the first object to invade his back passage, it was certainly the longest and most rigid. He could feel the hairs of Fanny’s tail dangling down and tickling against his thighs.Lady Catherine let out an amused snort. “Fanny’s tail suits you very well,” she said. “I am sure if. Brushing the hair from out of his eyes, Lankin looked proudly up at the Keep that now dominated the local landscape, its defences impregnable to all but the most determined attack or siege. Five years of his life were tied up in that building, five years of sweat, toil and worry but he was pleased with the result. As one of the leading military architects of the time, Lankin and his skills were in great demand and Lord Zetland had been forced to promise him a good rate and a large bonus on completion in order to secure Lankin's services against competition from several other nobleman who had sought his services. And now the project was finished. The mighty Lord and his family along with their entourage had moved into the Keep a few days previously and now Lankin was on his way to collect his promised fee before moving on to his next job, a castle to be constructed on the Welsh borders, commissioned by the King himself!Lord Zetland thrust himself into his young wife with an energy.
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