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I'm not cool enough to be in the back, but not lame enoughto be up front with the teachers. I'm sitting next to Ricky Heller, who Inormally don't get along with. Today he is being nice to me because hewants to play Fire on my Game & Watch. I am holding in a bowel movement. Wewon't be back at school for another two hours.I sneeze, and shit squeezes out of my ass and into my underwear. I saynothing, staring at the floor, hoping no one will notice. Ricky is in aparticular intense phase of Fire, but stops to sniff the air. He looks overat me."Aw, man, Joey shit himself!"The girls all make Ewww sounds and the boys start laughing. So does the busdriver.I wish I had a Time Machine. I'd come back and change this."Come on," I hear myself saying out of Dawson's mouth. I sound frustrated.Now I'm Dawson, sitting in a darkened bar, showing Eric Ferris newspaperclippings about his video game company going bankrupt."Now the good news," I'm saying, in Dawson's voice. I nod at Bardo - ayounger,. ”“Oh, crap. You kids these days are such babies.” He pushed my shoulder and butt to the left and shoved a pillow under them. Then he spread my legs so he could get film where he wanted it. All the time he kept yammering. “When I was a teen, I broke my arm and had it in a cast for three months. A month after it was free, I pitched a no-hitter for my baseball team. You just need a better attitude. Determination. People aren’t going to treat you like you’re fragile just because you’ve had a couple of broken bones.”What a fucker. I tried to estimate his age. My V1 brain was trying to tell me this was just a kid like all the smartass caregivers at the nursing home. My V2 eyes were telling me he was an old man—even older than my parents. If this was what old people were like in my V3 timeline, I was going to have problems with them.Was I ever like that?My doctor, on the other hand, was a total fox. When I was back in the examination room, she looked at the film and then prodded each of my.
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