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I could focus on thingsbesides drifting back into oblivion. I shook my head as I tried to wringthe last vestiges of sleep from my brain. It hadn't been an especiallyrestful night.Honestly, when I'd left that cafe, I'd been so high on the idea of beingme again, so angry and spurred to action that I'd seriously consideredjust going straight to confront Elizabeth then and there. I wanted mydevice back, damnit, I wanted my life back, I wanted Evan back. But itwas late, and despite all the coffee and despite all the nervous angryenergy, I was tired. I'm not a freshman, I know better than to think thatany idea I come up with at two in the morning is worth acting on withoutsome sleep first. What I needed was some rest and to formulate a plan.Maybe, I had hoped, the latter would come to me in search of the former,but of course it had not."Fuck." I said, to no one in particular. "What the hell am I going todo?"Okay, I shook my head, first thing first. Lying around here moping aboutit wasn't. I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams.But, here it is ... the back nine of my life and it catches me by surprise ... How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my youth go?I remember well seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that I was only on the first hole and the back nine was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like.But, here it is ... my friends are retired and getting grey ... they move slower and I see an older person now. Some are in better and some worse shape than me ... but, I see the great change ... Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant ... but, like me, their age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we’d become.Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat anymore ... it’s.
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