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"A hush fell over the crowd.After a while, a hand went up in the back of thebar.A woman timidly spoke up."I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me onthe head with the beer bottle."# 2A small white guy goes into an elevator, when hegetsin he notices a huge black dude standing next tohim.The big black dude looks down upon the smallwhiteguy and says: "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inchdick,3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, TurnerBrown"The small white guy faints!!The big black dude picks up the small white guyandbrings him to, slapping his face and shaking himandasks the small white guy."What's wrong?".The small white guy says; "Excuse me but whatdid yousay?".The big black dude looks down and says "7 foottall,350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3poundright ball, my name is Turner Brown."The small white guy says, "Thank God, I thoughtyousaid 'Turn around.'"# 1There was this couple who had been married for50years. They were sitting at the breakfast tableonemorning when. Been here since the Conquistadores. Land grants from Spain and all that folderol. Had a huge piece of land south and east of here. Had about a thousand folks working for them. Real Spanish Royalty.”“Then, after the war, we had a carpetbagger show up. Called himself General Farnsworth. He started buying up all the available land. And what was available wasn’t worth spit. Desert, cactus, and sand. But he was willing to buy it. At a quarter an acre, it didn’t cost him much. Got to the point, he was among the biggest landowners around.”“Then, some of the smaller outfits started having trouble. Night raiders, poisoned wells, menfolk shot, and killed in their fields. We even started having problems here in town. Gunslingers and their hangers-on were shooting things up. But through all this, the Ruis’ didn’t have any problems. I even talked to the old man Manuel. He was the head guy. I asked if He was having problems. He denied having any, and he told me that if any did come up, He could.
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