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She made the choice to leave and never looked back.It was our first official date, but we’d been circling one another for months. We’d both taken the next day off work. There was no doubt where the night was heading. It was just a question of how we’d get there.“I can give you a push,” I told her. “If it’s what you really want.”Her big blue eyes widened."I want that," Sadie responded.“What do you want?” I asked.She bit her lip, stared up at me, and batted her eyes.“I’m not some college boy that you can manipulate by playing innocent. You’re dealing with a man now. I’m not into games. If you want something, I expect you to tell me.”Sadie hesitated for a moment longer. I could see she was nervous. She looked at the ground, then back up at me.She’d been full of energy all night, but her voice was almost a whisper when she finally spoke again.“I want someone to take control,” she said. “I want you to take control.”I took her small hand in mine and walked toward a scenic. The first time I did it was in the basement of a building a few blocks away with some guy I met on A4A. I was nervous as hell, knowing that this was something that I could never undo. I was a bit disappointed when I saw him, because he wasn’t as hot as his picture. But when he pushed me onto my knees and pushed his 8 inch cock into my mouth and called me a little “faggot boy,” I knew that this was what I had to do. Then he turned me around and fucked me, coming in about a minute. It was both exhilarating and dissatisfying; the itch, scratched, was stronger than ever.I promised myself I wouldn’t do it again. At least, if I did it again, I would still use a condom. But the lure was too strong. I needed to do something dirty, to get fucked in the dirtiest, most anonymous way possible, with a stranger whose business with me was entirely sex.A few nights ago, I got a message from a guy that I’d fucked with once, several years ago, before my boyfriend and I got serious. My boyfriend wasn’t.
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