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” “How can you say that?!” I gasped, “Jesus Christ is our lord and savior!” “Yeah…” Lucy murmured, “We’ll see how you feel about him after a few minutes.”“HELLO, BITCHES!” a boisterous, deep voice yelled from the entrance of the restaurant. I turned around to see a bearded man wearing a white sport’s coat, dress pants, a gold chain, and Ray Ban sunglasses, burst into the room. Everybody in the restaurant collectively groaned. “Oh, this asshole!” Ghandi yelled as he threw the napkin down on the table and got up to leave. “Hey now, my hairless Hindu hell-raiser, why the animosity?” Jesus smiled at the fuming Ghandi. “Fuck off, you fucking piece of dog shit!” Ghandi yelled in a thick Indian accent as he stormed past the messiah.“Hey,” Jesus yelled back at Ghandi, “I’m telling your manager at Xbox customer support that I am not satisfied with your service!” “That’s Jesus?!” I whispered to God. “Yeah,” God sighed, “that’s him.”“Hi Mom!” Jesus yelled as his gaze zeroed-in on God. “Hello,. Debbie was at the first mixer my junior year.She was in the big party room in the basement dancing with some freshman who looked like Tom Cruise. The first thing I noticed was her face. It was expressive and beautiful. She wore a short, tight, red skirt which accentuated her beautiful ass and legs. The skirt left little to the imagination, although I was visualizing her without it. Other dancers flowed by, blocking my view and ending what I'd planned as an extended evaluation. The next time I looked for her, she was gone.After the party, a bunch of us went to the campus hangout for pizza. Debbie was there, but without the Cruise look alike. Cheryl saw me looking at her."Want an introduction, Jason?" she asked sweetly."Oh, ummm, no, thanks anyway, Cheryl." Well, just let me know."Cheryl Jacobson dated Ralph Winston, our fraternity president. This made her our unofficial "first lady", a nonexistent function she took seriously. She viewed part of her imaginary job as yenta, which for.
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