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Or rather, man. I really don’t think she even dates.I was nursing a Beamish chuckling to myself watching guys at the bar sheepishly leering at the chubby girl. It’s as if they can’t decide whether it was ok to lust after an oversized woman.She’d walked in a few moments before looking one part shy and one parts lost. Her pale white shoulders and arms stood in contrast of this dark room. Her hands clutched a small black purse with gold threading. Her eyes wandered the room and when she didn’t find what she sought, she started for the bar. Her full figure was wrapped in a mid-thigh, sleeveless navy pencil dress. Her shapely alabaster calves were supported by black 4 inch pumps. A rather formal outfit, if I’m honest, for a college town pub on a Wednesday night.I watched her butt jiggle as her heels clicked their way to a stool. The bartender responded professionally but quicker than usual. The auburn hair beauty continued to survey the room as she put her dark brown lips around. He doesn't mention it much, because you don't talk about that sort of thing at work -- but it comes out. TL;DR - Dude loves his family but ain't gettin' any.]Friday comes around and I walk to her place, we walk to the restaurant. We have a lovely meal. There's a c***d actress at the restaurant, famous for an obnoxious commercial. We laugh about her. We drink red wine. Thank you, red wine.Turns out she is a lush, and red wine flips her switch. By the time we leave the restaurant she is ready to pounce. I'm trying to be a gentleman, but she's making it hard. She is making everything hard.Why did I mention my hard-up boss a second ago? Because this amazing thing happens next:She whispers in my ear that we need to head back to her place, but I'm not drunk enough. Don't you like beer? Shouldn't we walk over to Walgreens and get some beer?Yes. Yes we should.We are in Walgreens. You're going to think I'm a slut. I'm so not a slut. But let's buy these. *takes 60-pack of condoms off the.
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