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Even today, she still loves his memory, but it is without pain. My little kiss, inspired by the excitement of getting a watch, evoked from her the response, “Thank you, darling, that was lovely.” It was two more firsts – the first time anyone had thanked me for a kiss, and the first time she had called me “Darling.” I still wear the watch. The years of my “Wind in the Willows” and pirate fantasies passed and I entered that phase in life we call “Puberty.” It is a difficult time in that we begin to grow physically at a fast rate, and our sexual development frustrates and bewilders us. We approach the peak of our sexual powers at a time when we are legally denied their fulfillment. Of course, we know what goes on between young people in hidden places and the backs of cars, but denial seems to be the order of the day. Relationships between older women and young men especially, are now receiving statistical corroboration, but still we close our eyes, or, if exposed, the lovers are. You are acting and reacting like I would expect of most anygirl your age. It is clear, to me, that that you have almost completelyadopted and accepted the feminine role. I must say that when I first sawyou I was somewhat shocked. Most guys would have just done what they hadto, to pay off the bet. But, I can tell that you have completelyembraced this. I see almost none of the Jamie that I have grown to knowand love. Have you adopted a feminine name yet?" Yes, it is Erin." What a pretty name for a very pretty girl. Have you given any thoughtwhat you want to do after Saturday night?" I guess I'll have to go back to being Jamie." Somehow I don't think so. I think that after this week is over, you aregoing to find it will become harder and harder to be content "just"being Jamie. I can see it already. The way you are dressing, wearingyour hair, gesturing with your hands and your body language all exudethe feelings that you are a girl. No I suspect that once Sunday morningcomes around, you.
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