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]“In four years we’ve seen sexual assaults drop from 11 to 1, robberies from 204 to 89, and assaults from 37 to 30. Let’s give another hand for the men and women in blue!” [Appreciative compliance.]“But stay on your feet a minute, Lieutenant. What say you be a little less vigilant about, ‘No person shall, in a public place, engage in any act of lewdness, including but not limited to sexual intercourse, fellatio, cunnilingus or masturbation.’ Why, none of us would be here if you caught everybody!” [Laughter, including that of the Lieutenant.]“Just kidding, sir. We truly appreciate how NYPD is making Central Park safe, especially above 72nd.“And a very special welcome to this year’s ‘Twice Qualified’ inductees! As the certificate says, ‘Both having been conceived and having conceived in Central Park.’ Let’s give these special folks a big hand.” [Duly directed to several in the reserved seating.]“And don’t we love the weekends! No cars! Just find a quiet place (And we all have our. When I got out of the shower I noticed I had a ‘woody’. So I felt a little internet porn might be the answer. As I waited for my PC to boot, I noticed the Powerball ticket beckoning me. So once the PC started I fired up Firefox and went to the Powerball site. I checked the numbers on the ticket three times. They matched the winners. I reread the web page. There was only one winning ticket sold and it was worth $250,000,000 {that’s Millions folks}. My ‘Woody’ disappeared. I grabbed a pen and quickly signed my name on the back of the ticket. My next item of business was to call the lawyer that represented me in the divorce. I got his answering machine (it was a Sunday). I left a detailed message asking him to call me. Two hours later he called back. I guess he didn’t have anything going on this Sunday either. Explained my winner, I made an appointment for Monday. The next day we had a very long discussion about trusts, investments, tax avoidance, and most importantly, that my ex was.
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