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The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?" Yes" says the woman."Did you hit him with that golf club?" Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face."How many times did you hit him?" I don't know -- put me down for a five."A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between 2 trees he thought he could hit through.Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.As he approached the gates of Heaven,St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.She said: "What are your golf clubs doing here?"He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"A husband and wife are. Dont worry sweety..i will make you enjoy every minute of this...trust me sweety. and i gently kiss the side of your neck.i take you by the hands and guide you gently into my room. there i start to undress you very slowly and kiss every bit of skin that i reveale while undressing you.i can hear and see that you enjoy this and i smile.gently i guide you to the bed and let you lay down on your back. and i come and sit beside you on the bed.you can feel my warm skin touching yours and you know i am naked too.i can see the tension on your face and i bring my lips to yours, and kiss you gently on your lips, telling you..relax sweety..and enjoy....you can hear me doing something at the site of the bed and your tensing up again.than suddenly out of nowhere you can feel warm oil dribbling over your breasts..discribing small circles. at first you are shocked a little by the feeling, and because you cant see what is happening. and i smile at you.i take my other hand and start to massage the oil.
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