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It keeps the spark alive. The nature of the exchange is such that I become less a wife to John and more a… a camgirl. Does that sound terrible? It’s not; you should try it. Whenever John comes home it’s like we’ve only just met. He can’t wait to have me, and I can’t wait to have him.Take this evening, for instance. It’s Tuesday. I can’t tell you what I do for a living, but believe me, it’s been a day and a half. That’s another great thing about doing this; it’s a fantastic way to unwind.It’s nine o’clock when I place the laptop on the foot of the bed. This is by now a routine. Not the bed necessarily, but the time. It’s always nine o’clock when I begin. There’s a reason for that, just as there’s a reason why I’ve cracked the window open, which I’ll get to in a moment.Tonight I’m naked, save for a pair of silky black knickers. Normally I pay a lot of attention to what I wear, but this evening I just want to get down to business. I get on the bed and angle the screen. I’ve done this so. I know I don't show it, but I am so confused when it comes to love." Do you love Dad?" I don't know. I loved him when we were first married and when you were born, but our relationship has changed over the years and we are not the same people or the same couple we once were." Mom how do you feel about the way dad treats you?" I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I walked down a staircase into a pit, one small step at a time. When I turned around the steps were gone and I was stuck in the pit" So you realize you have gone to a place where you are not happy and you need help to get out?" Yes, I feel overwhelmed and sometimes feel like it may just be easier to let it all go and walk away. The issue is do I start over or not at all."I guess that meant suicide."Mom, I have seen some of the things you have done. I know you don't flaunt them but sometimes it is hard to keep secrets when we live under the same roof. I know you do or have done drugs. I know that you live a swinger's lifestyle..
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