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She always suggested a lunch date that took place in a hotel room. Dani would show up and immediately strip upon entering the room, eating lunch completely naked with them. If the conversation and the like worked out enough then they’d get to play, if not, they got to eat lunch with a naked 20 year old who would do a few last poses for them before she left.The real devious part of the plan was that she never intended to play. She chose her words carefully in that she might if things were right. One of the conditions of the game her and her friends played is anything promised had to be performed. Having that “if” condition in there saved her a lot of headache, even if it teased many guys.Granted Dani didn’t just tease through online chats. The girl had a profile or two on sex themed social networking sites. Again only fully clothed pictures with the occasional tease, but even with her “friends” there she teased–emailed coupons for everything from a blow job, to over the knee. If this was 1998, and I was merely engaged, I could throw everything away that I had at the time. I would take the risk. I would shed myself of everything for one more chance with you. A part of me wants to smack me for feeling this way. I linger over the sensation that I can still trust you with my whole being, and the sensation that it is the right thing to do. I am living a lie. Everyday that goes by, I know that I have only hastily tried to patch my world together and keep moving forward, but that I am carrying a flame for someone else. Even if you are secretly laughing at me, I’ve been warned before that I am not truly happy with the one who loves me. I am safer in this world to stay with him, though. The logical thought that I am wrong about the things I feel for you interferes with my desire to take a leap of faith. Faith in true love. Faith in a loving God. Faith that as I have wished – that we would someday meet again, and that we would one day become one, again – you have.
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