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Skip Skip Skip Skip SKIIIIP!The slime girl's eyes widened in surprise. "You're skipping the sex scene? Who does--"The woodland path vanished and Jackson found himself back on the featureless, cloudy plane with the big tits angel. She looked sad.Alas, poor Ian Jackson, Jackson thought. The unlucky adventurer had all the flesh melted off his bones by a skanky slime girl. Or some other shit like that.The angel opened her mouth and started speaking to Jackson in moonspeak. Not again, couldn't he just--Hey wait, the Skip option was here too. Sweet.Skip.Jackson went straight to the end of the angel's speech. She'd stopped looking sad and instead had a smile full of positivity and hope.Go forth and cube the slimy skank, Jackson imagined her saying in a squeaky voice.The angel and the cloudy plane faded out and Jackson was back on the woodland path with the battle music playing in the background. A blue splodge landed on the center of the path and bounced up into the jiggling form of a. The last commander told us to do it, so here we are. It seems to be a tradition of some sort.”The new commander called the old one to ask what the reason was, and the previous commander said; “I don’t know. The commander before me had guards on the bench, so I just kept it going.”After contacting three previous commanders as well, and still getting the same answer, the new commander finally found a retired General (nearly 100 years old) and asked; “Sir, I am the new commander at the base you were in charge of 60 years ago. I found two men assigned to stand guard on a bench near the mess hall. Can you please tell me why?”After a pause, the General replied; “What? Is the paint still wet?”????????????????Thank tavern_knight for this one~“So when the first pig asked the man for straw to build his house with...”“What do you think the man was thinking?”One of the teacher’s students in the back of the room, called out, “Fuck me, a talking pig.”????????????????A well planned retirementThere.
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