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"So why did we trace it to your computer?" the bloke asked."Because you set me up?" I asked."He's not entirely stupid then!" the bloke laughed, "I'm acting assistant chief constable Collins spelt B-A-S-T." "That's not how you spell cunt!" I said, "But I get the idea." Mulholland says you're good at vermin control," AACC Collins suggested."I does me bit," I said."Well hanging pedo's by the bollocks is a bit awkward for us," he says, "Suicide suits us much better." Right," I agreed."Well we got ITV coming to interview you at half past, so tell them it's your civic duty to out the bastards," he 'suggested.'"Fair enough." I said.Sandra came round when the TV van turned up, "Shall I get my tits out?" she asked."No!" I said, "She's the local tart from next door," I explained, to a weasly looking bloke who seemed scared out of his wits."Mr, ugh, Allthwaite I presume," said some ageing tart that looked like that TV presenter's mum and turned out to be the presenter herself as she looked down. I'm so happy to be drinking juice from my bottle inMommy's arms. It feels so nice and... and...I wake up in my crib and I don't see Mommy. I call, "Ma-ma!" No one comesand I start to feel scared. I call again, "Ma-ma! Ma-ma!" Mommy comes andpicks me up and holds me and I'm happy. I want to tell Mommy I was scared,but the words are too hard.My diaper is wet and Mommy gives me a new one. That makes me happy.I play with blocks and dolls and then I go outside and run around andMommy watches me and I run to Mommy and show Mommy things. I hear a noiseand run to Mommy and I'm safe. Mommy says things to me in a very nicevoice. I like it. My hearing must not be working right because Mommy'swords are hard to understand sometimes. I know Mommy loves me so I'mhappy.Later Mommy puts me in a highchair and I get a bowl with mush in it. Ilike it a little but mostly it's fun to play with. Mommy says something. Ithink Mommy doesn't like that it's fun to smear the mush around.I wet my diaper again..
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