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Starting that night I triedevery position I could to suck myself off. I was always about one inchshort of my goal. My best position was on my back with my legs over myhead. I spent years staring at the elusive wiener and licking precumoff the head when I could reach it. Pulling on it in an attempt to wrapmy lips around it so I could suck on it always resulted in cummingbefore I could accomplish my mission. Strangely getting cum in my mouthor on my face disgusted me and I avoided getting squirted. I can stillsee the purple head of my cock oozing precum a silly millimeter awayfrom my lips. Breathing is a real problem and controlling one'sbreathing is a chore in it's self. This was a nightly pass time until Iwas 18 and only once was I able to get that elusive head in my mouth butcouldn't get any suction.Years went by and I'd try off and on. I had dreams where I wassuccessful but never was as far as I can recollect. At age 39 whilespending the night in my Ford Econoline bubble top van. Most of what you see will feel juvenile at best and corrupt at worst. That change in perspective is much like what you go through after attending a nude beach for an extended period of time, where you loose your body consciousness and you become less judgmental of body types. Ash and I felt that way after going to our nude beach. We saw so many older people, who were often pretty fat, kinda wrinkly, but emerged in our perspectives as beautiful, wonderfully tanned and clearly at peace with their bodies. Our definition of beauty changed and we started seeing beauty where we couldn't before. From then on we began noticing how often "straight" people commented and complained about their bodies and appearances. It became annoying hearing them obsessing about being fat, wrinkled, or even just struggling through their bad hair days. Hearing straight people talk about sex was much the same way. We started to notice how often their commentary on sex was full of complaints, frustrations,.
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