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The chemo had not been to play with, and the team of doctors had gone all in to ‘destroy what needed to be destroyed’, and me with it, as I had grumpily told them. The doctors hadn’t laughed at that statement or any of my other attempts at dark humor and that was a sobering notion, fighting cancer obviously wasn’t a laughing matter. I just wished there was at least one not so very stone faced person around whom I could vent my thoughts to, because I really, really needed it. I was worried, no absolutely frightened, about the bone marrow transplantation. Not about the procedure in itself, but about having someone else’s stuff put in my body. I realized it was completely illogical, but I was as frightened of the transplantation procedure as I’d been when I was tied up in that room all those years ago. I guessed it was the feeling of not being in control, but knowing what it was that sent my pulse running too fast and my body tense up until my muscles hurt really didn’t help calm me. They let me sleep with them as a child. That was why Mama started to play the Canon all the time, even when we slept, because it was that that she lured me into my own bed at night, and left the music playing so that I would sleep. For 17 years it had played, until she died, and Daddy had turned it off. But ever since the other day, Daddy played it again, and it was the most soothing sound one could hear when he took me in his arms and into his bed. He covered me up slightly to keep me warm as he went into his bathroom and took a shower. I just lay there the whole time waiting to see what would happen. My heart had calmed down now, it just felt so natural, so right; me laying here in this bed, the bed that father would soon be coming to. “Elaina, I’m here. Honey, wake up, Daddy is here,” I heard in the background as I opened my eyes. I was covered in sweat and looked up at Daddy hovering above me. “Sweetheart, its okay, just a nightmare,” he reassured me as we both relaxed into the.
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