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I took every opportunity to take a rise out of him, he did likewise to me We spared in words and effect. The fact that he was twenty years younger than me did not mitigate the threat he perceived in me. There was absolutely nothing I could do about this. He continued to gain the upper hand and I refused to let him have it all his own way. We verbally spared and he was infuriated to find my command of English stronger while gentler than his. He resorted to swear words while I never swore. Eventually he discerned this and his tactics were modified. He attacked my age. I attacked his inexperience. This phase lasted a few months and eventually he perceived that people were beginning to look to me rather than him. The green-eyed monster began to rise and his behavior began to become irrational. This was for me a problem because we had a common thread, a relationship totally outside our competing personalities. Within this relationship, I was at a substantial disadvantage. I had not seen. I can’t help feeling the need to keep it ‘in the family,’ around people who can understand and enjoy what I’m talking about. Any discussion of what I do requires a lot of careful probing to see if these people are cool. Will they be in on it with me? Or, will I scare them into yanking their children off the street as I walk past? It would be easier if I wrote ‘erotica.’ I don’t. I write porn. Some people go on and on about the distinction until they’re blue in the face, but it’s just the same as ‘lingerie’ as opposed to ‘underpants.’ It’s got nothing to do with quality or substance, it’s all about attitude. Porn is dirty, erotica is not. Erotica can’t be dirty, it’s too busy being snooty. Half the time it’s not about sex at all, and it’s about as titillating as teatime with Martha Stewart. Have you ever looked at one of those collections of Erotica in the local Barnes & Noble? No, not the collected letters to Penthouse magazine, that’s porn. I’m talking about the ones with.
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