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We complimented Harley on her winning of the genetic lottery, and she stoically tapped at her tablet while we ordered a bevy of beers, strictly Corona, none of the local piss, and whiskey shots, Jack on the rocks.Each of us swiped our phones to pay, and we collectively ogled Harley Qing’s shapely derriere as she slinked off... We cut a path through the miasma of smoke, bar staff moving like missiles, rushing drink trays, and we dodged phone zombies, randomly arranged tables, and found a vacant booth in the corner, not far from a trio of pool tables.Doomsday Randy was pointedly saying to Piggy: “It’s not that I’m homophobic! I’m simply scared of gays. Like, an irrational fear, like I go to San Francisco or Dupont Circle and I’m thinking dudes are just gonna run up and buttfuck me, you know? I start to understand how women feel, you hear me?”We scooted into the booth, eased into the pleather. A smiley young mushroom haircut waiter in a tacky tuxedo and oversized eyeglasses, arrived. .."Hitch looked down at his bandage, "well, I've seen a lot of wounded men in my day, and I'm certain you are going to be fine. They'd have sent you back otherwise. Bullet wound?"The young officer nodded, and his face showed embarrassment and shame.Hitch crouched down to the man's level and looked at him calmly. "First combat?" Y-yes..."Hitch nodded. "The first time I was in a battle, I pissed myself. Literally pissed myself. I was so scared and we were in place so long that I could not hold it. Goddamnedest thing, too. Even when we were being shot at, my First Sergeant sees me and laughs, gave me a nickname I hated immediately. 'Lieutenant Depends, ' he called me, suggested that I get some diapers the next time so that I'd not piss on his shoes."The Lieutenant was watching Hitch carefully, not laughing or smiling, sucking on the opiate lollipop."But he took me aside later," Hitch continued, "and he told me that I loosened up after he called me that, that I'd taken offense and was.
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