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"An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.A cop pulls him over."So," says the cop to the driver," where have ya been?" Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk."Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening." I did all right," the drunk says with a smile."Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?" Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door."Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya"."Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?" That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery." Oh, God no!" cries. True I was unbending, but that is just the way it was going to be, no negotiation.I was only a senior in high school, but I was the most serious senior that Central high ever encountered.Additionally, I was kinda popular now. Like mom had said, the other kids would figure it out in due time; well, they had. Oh the jocks still got the first picks of all of the girls, but their leavings were pretty damn good regardless. I'd taken Helen Morgan to homecoming and on the way home we'd parked. Almost eighteen and still a virgin technically, but I did get some pretty nice touchy-feely-kissee-wisee.Helen and I had not exactly been an item; I still had no true girlfriend, didn't want one. Sandra was going to be mine somewhere down the road, but until then Helen was a more than an adequate standin: pretty and rich too.We'd been wet kissing for some little time then we stopped. We looked out on the lights of the valley below us; it was a beautiful night and the moon was full."Let's get in the.
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