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"We are hopelessly outnumbered!”I reassure her with a protective kiss to the forehead.“Have no fear”, I scoff, “For I am the scourge of each and every one of these creatures - be they of extraterrestrial or Earthly origin. I have encountered all of these wretches before time and time again. On every occasion I have emerged victorious, while their evil schemes lie in tatters around them like wet toilet tissue. Towards me, each and every one of these creatures harbours a profound terror. A few minutes at my hands and they find themselves brushing the dust off their backsides and grovelling for First Aid kits”“But who are you who can strike such awe into such a legion of Hell?’I pause for effect.“I am known only as Doctor WooHoo - brilliant-yet-quirky intergalactic hero and kicker of alien bottoms!”She looks again at the host of enemies that surround us. “What do you suggest we do, Doctor? How can we extricate ourselves from this peril?”“Hmmmmm”. I point to the door that leads. In the wax, there was a faintimpression of a couple of interlaced triangles, which Ididn't recognize as a logo for any company I knew. Therewas definitely something inside, but the glass was too darka green to be sure what. So I bought it and took it home,figuring I could get it open there.I heated the bottle's neck with steam until the waxsoftened, and I peeled it off. The cork was a lot morestubborn, but it finally popped out. There was an immediatejet of smoke from the bottle's mouth, accompanied by aroaring sound. The smoke didn't disperse but formed anodd-shaped cloud about eight feet tall, reaching just to theceiling. As more and more smoke poured out, it added to thecloud which became increasingly dense and almost solid,looking like an oversize human form.And then it _was_ human. Or humanoid. A huge swarthyfigure, only somewhat lighter in color than the smoke hadbeen, stood there, naked from the waist up, except for aturban and earrings, clad in red silk pantaloons.
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