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You didn’t put any money in the poor box!’ The Irishman replied, ‘Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!’Lemon Squeeze There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, ‘Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.’ The priest said, ‘Confess your sins and be forgiven.’ The young woman said, ‘Last night my boyfriend made passionate love to me seven times.’ The priest thought long and hard and then said, ‘Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.’ The young woman asked, ‘Will this cleanse me of my sins?’ The priest said, ‘No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.’Catholic Dog Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, ‘Father, my dog is dead ... Could ya’ be saying’ a mass for the poor creature?’Father Patrick replied, ‘I’m afraid not; we cannot have. He felt the warmth through her delicate little palm and their eyes met, bringing back the lump in his throat and a lump elsewhere below. He scrambled quickly down 'What are you doing allowing girls of that age excite you' he thought. He was hooked though, and he had an idea they knew this too. He got back to his machete and smiled up at them."We must not get our skirts dirty on this wall or we will be in for a stroke or two!" Said Cindy, and the two in unison lifted their skirts and pulled their legs back provocatively, careful to allow him a view of their crotches; their tight white panties outlining a sweet little bulge. The two smiled knowingly. He now wished he had not 'gone commando'; he smiled and cursed as he had to turn away from the sight- his erection now as stiff as the machete and very evident in his baggy khakis."You girls come here this instant!" The playful scene was suddenly shattered by a mature female voice from beyond the wall; the two looked terrified and Abigail.
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