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”“Wiggity what?” I asked. All of us – my girls, me and the marines – jogged over to the hummer. There, we found the driver was literally just a cardboard cut out with levers and switches attached to the controls, remote operated via some simple radio signals. That was weird. But what was even weirder was that they hadn’t even used a gnome cardboard cut out! Up close, it was really obvious that someone had just taken a Robert Downy Junior promotional cardboard cut out for Iron Man 3 and sawed it in half. I mean ... why Iron Man 3? Why not Infinity War? Who still had Iron Man 3 cardboard cutouts these days? Who!?“Someone sucked his brains out...” P90 muttered.I blinked and looked over at the less interesting gnome corpse. P90 had tugged his matted scalp backwards on a hinge, revealing that the cultist had, as I had long suspected, no brains.“Ewwwwwww!” Cindi and I said at the same time. Alex threw up the metal horns, reverently whispering: “Metal.”“Was it the bugs?” Spokaine asked,. You’re going to need a whole lot of paper. Forget covering the door. With that many reports, Brother Martin could cover the entire cathedral. So of course, he’s got to cover up Brother Victor’s announcements with his theses.Martin’s not only a monk, he’s a professor at the local university. Back then, professors would write everything in Latin, which is the language of ancient Rome. If you look at a map, do we have a map?Good. Now, here’s Rome down in Italy, and now I’ll point out Wittenberg up in Germany. Wittenberg is a long way from Rome, so only a few people there knew Roman, most of them spoke German. Uncle Dave can speak a little German. In German, a tomcat is female, while, how can Uncle Dave say this without getting yelled at, a mama dog is male. A girl isn’t a “she,” but an “it.” Eventually the Germans get all frustrated and angry at having to call mama dogs male, and they express their rage by invading Belgium or Poland or wherever. Say what you will about French, at least.
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