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But...I will never be able to give him what he deserves and I must have been daft to think I ever could. You know he took my heart the day he took my hand and gave me that rose. He kissed me and I awoke from a life long slumber to discover I was more woman than I dreamed possible, and for a while I believed that was enough. I believed in the handsome prince, the beautiful princess and happily ever afters, but real life isn't a fairy tale is it Goddess? Sooner or later it destroys fairy tales like Andy and I have lived. It's like a relentless dragon that no brave knight can slay. It's a clock that rang midnight on this Cinderella, and now she is nothing more than a stupid bloke in a princess frock."Ally shook her head and sighed, "Goddess, Tom and his lot are cruel bastards. I know that, but...but he was right about one thing. I'll never be a REAL woman for Andy, no matter what I feel like inside. No matter how much I love him. No matter how much he loves me. It won't be REAL because. Shocking, isn't it?What was the value in having a boyfriend? I could get a quality date whenever I wanted, to do whatever I wanted, wherever I wanted. I could have as little or as much sex as I wanted, and whatever kind I wanted. I could have complete control over any situation.A boyfriend would feel entitled to make demands on my time, on my attention, to have some say in the relationship. What did I need that for when I could get everything I wanted at no cost?Maybe this wasn't love and forever after; maybe it was just infatuation. Perhaps I had just been caught up in the moment. It was a most excellent moment to be sure, but a moment nonetheless.I loved being with Jeff, but I could do that whenever I wanted without having to make any kind of commitment.Well, maybe I couldn't. I would ask him for a specific time and he wasn't always available. That had never happened to me before. Was this the flip side of guys wanting a girl because she made herself unavailable?No way. Jeff was too.
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