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“Like, dating?” I finished his sentence. “Yeah.” “So, do you like her better than me?” I asked, probably one hell of a question, putting him squarely on the spot with probably only one answer he would ever give in this particular situation. “No, Maddie. I like you way more,” he responded, predictably. “It’s just, well, you know, we weren’t really like doing anything and I’ve been hanging out with her for a while now.” “So, you’re fucking her, right?” “Well, yeah.” “Do you like her?” “Yeah, she’s cool.” “You mean, her tits are cool,” I blurted out, jealously. “No, Maddie. Don’t be like that,” he replied calmly. “I like her. She’s nice to me, we have fun together. She’s… Well, she’s just fun. But, seriously, I like you more. Like, we’re just starting to hang out, but you’re more of a priority to me than her, already.” “So, like, have you told her about me?” “No, I…” I cut him off, not meaning to necessarily, but wanting to get to my next question. “When’s the last time you fucked her?”. "Look, Mrs. Ragn—I mean, Fiona, look there's no... we don't need to call the police, right? Look, you're okay, you're sitting up and everything!" How dare you?" she said. "You drive like a damn maniac all over the neighbourhood and now that you hit me with your car, you want me to just pretend that's okay?" Not at all," I said. "I just mean, there's no need to call the cops, okay? We can... like, let me make it up to you, how 'bout that? I can, I dunno, mow your lawn or something. Whatever you want, you call me up and say 'Henry, get your ass over here and open this jar of pickles for me' and I'll run right over and do it."She stared at me for a minute, I think probably trying to make sure I wasn't lying, and I wasn't. I was dead serious about not wanting her to call the cops. If she did that, they'd find out I was driving without my license, and then I'd be real fucked because they'd probably arrest me or something."You mean that?" she asked."Oh, yeah," I said."So if I said to you.
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