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I work in Kensington and have to take the Circle Line to Victoria before getting a train to my home in Dartford. As usual I had to wait a while for the right train to turn up but I was pleasantly surprised that it was quite empty and I was able to get a seat. I slumped on to the seat and scanned the sports pages of the evening paper but glancing up to check out what station we had stopped at I noticed a beautiful Japanese girl sitting opposite me. She must have been in her early twenties I guess and was wearing a baggy blue T-shirt, a mini skirt and a pair of those ridiculously thick soled shoes. The ones with about 3′ of crepe sole which makes the wearer look like an act out of a circus when they walk. What really caught my attention was that although she had a small ruck sack on her lap, she was sitting with her legs parted slightly and I was sure that I caught a glimpse of her white knickers. Now in a situation like this you want to look but also know that you’ll be accused of. And on and on and on.Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight.Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.'They're not hanging Wright tonight, ' she said.He whirled around and screamed, 'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?!'The Stella Awards! Have not seen this one for a while It's time again for the annual 'Stella Awards'! For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck.
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