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A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher’s enormous, angry bull ... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he’d sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs... “Your badge, officer, show him your f*cking BADGE!!”✧ ✧ ✧This one is from TLSBThe Lone ranger rode up to a ranch house and the rancher exclaimed, “A masked man! You must be an outlaw!” “No Sir,” replied the Lone Ranger, I only wear this mask because of the coronavirus pandemic.”✧ ✧ ✧Say thanks to NipSC4328 for this one:Don’t eat chicken sandwiches, no matter what!!A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends ... Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day!. "Well, there's only one picture of me online, but darlin' there are plenty pictures of you so I guess you're the famous one here"I put down my pen and slid my hand to my purse for mace, but fuck, I've completely zippered my purse so there isn't gonna be any easy way to get that out. "I don't know what you're talking about, why don't you fuck off?"He chuckles again and I find it kind of a delicious sound. "No tygress, you know exactly what I'm talking about." And he leaves it at that while my face, I am sure, turned beet red as I try and figure out how he can POSSIBLY know who I am."Still don't know what you're talking about, go away." Yeah, liar liar, your face is on fire."I look up now and narrow my eyes at him. "You don't know what you're talking about, I don't know what you're talking about, go away before I call the cops."I start to write and he puts his large hand on my paper where I was jotting something down. "You gave me your real e-mail address, remember? I just looked you.
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