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The rest of our clothes are lost along the way, a pile twined as naturally together as you and I always are when we have these stolen moments all to ourselves. Our own little pocket of the universe where we will never judge one another for what we crave. The cool surface of the bed is almost too jarring against our skin as we lie on our sides. There's another moment that almost seems paused again and I wonder what races through your mind. At one time, the idea of crossing any physical borders was so alien. Over time, though, as we grew closer, lustful flashes began to transpire along with the bond we always felt. In those microscopic secret moments where we developed the urge to be more, something beautiful began to bloom. A glint of fear still lives in your eyes, though, and it makes you even more beautiful to me that you want to preserve the bond we share. And joining this way again can obliterate it if we're not careful. For as much as we joke about almost everything, it's in. . I’ve seen real fear in your eyes, that Saturday when you drove away. Please, honey, don’t ever let me see that again?”It had been more than fear; it had been a mix of a whole lot of negative emotions. Looking back on what I’d read in her face but not understood at the time, her giving me space to make my own decision had been selfless, almost heroic. Doing the right thing because she felt she owed me absolute honesty and a free pass to run away from her.She turned to me, taking her attention off the road for a few seconds, “I thought ... I thought it was all over, that it was goodbye. I don’t want to have that feeling of ... hopelessness ever again.”“Nor do I, honey, nor do I.”We were both silent for the rest of the journey. I’d been upset enough at her leaving at the time; I’d probably never fully understand what she’d had to go through, waiting for me to make my decision about whether or not I could accept her past, berating herself for risking what we had, while knowing that.
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