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Part of that is learned behavior when you just accept life sucks and prepare for the worst then you can be pleasantly surprised. Which I’ve found beats the hell out of having hope and then getting it crushed out of you time after time. The other part comes from being in chronic pain. It’s hard to be in a civil much less happy mood when you constantly hurt. It wears on you. Then there’s the anxiety that comes from the fallout of the illness. I.E. paying bills with little money. Trying to maintain relationships. Worries about the future and if you have one.Every now and then though, things ease up a bit. You don’t hurt so much. You’re mind is a little clearer and you find a smile on your face. That’s me at the moment. My head hurts and I had to leave work early because I went totally mute. But I’m not shaking and I don’t need my cane and my wife’s not crying or yelling at me. I feel relatively happy. I had a nap and a bowl of chili with some shredded cheese in it.Last night I was a. I knew it was my wife and she was calling for Cleopatra, you know, my asshole. I said – Cleo is fine, resting for a good week-end. – Then finish whatever is that you are doing and bring Cleo home so that Anthony (wife’s dildo)can fuck her as I please and the sooner you get here the sooner Cleo’s week-end will start. – OK, that sounds very sexy . . . . Bye, I’ll be home with Cleo in 25/30 minutes. Closed my stuff, realized that I will be coming in tomorrow. Stopped a sec on the boy’s room so I could fuck Cleo with a but plug that would keep her excited for Anthony. As I was driving home, a lot of recent memories came vividly for me to think of how much my wife and I had progressed in our sex life with Cleopatra, Anthony, her pussy, and my cock. What began a long time ago with me exploring my sexual satisfaction exciting my prostate and using dildos on my ass turned out to be a whole new world of sexual excitement and pleasure. As we progressed we developed a sexual fantasy that we.
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