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My wife is such a bad cook. In my house we pray after the meal.My wife likes to talk to me during sex; last night she called me from a hotel.It’s been a rough day. I got up this morning and put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.I was such an ugly kid! When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.I was such an ugly baby that my mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.I was so ugly my father carried around a picture of the kid that came with his wallet.When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting room and said to my father, “I’m sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled through anyway.”I’m so ugly my mother had morning sickness AFTER I was born.I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.Once when I. " Why can't you buy it?" I asked him distrustfully, suspecting that I was being set up for a scam."That's what I've been telling you – I forgot my ID," he replied, a touch on the irritable side. "I am eighteen – I swear to God – but I left my student card in my room."I looked him up and down. He could well be eighteen. He had a cute, boyish face under his thick-rimmed glasses but his chin betrayed a fine growth of stubble. His build was on the chubby side and could still be described as puppy fat, but he was at least as tall as my son, who was also eighteen."So why did you come in to the city without your ID if you knew you were going to buy the game?" I asked."I was working this morning," he replied, gesturing at his white shirt and black trousers and throwing me a look like I was stupid to assume he always came out dressed like this. "A guy I work with told me about the game and I wanted to buy it so I can play it on my day-off tomorrow."Seeing that I was still sceptical but could.
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