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Get what I mean?" I only had... I mean, what if they only give you one wish?"Maputo shrugged. "They screw you even more, I guess. For example: Icould _wish_ that my parents are filthy rich, but it turns out the moneycomes from bank robberies. Then..."Something weird happened. Just after the word "wish", Maputo's voicesounded more pronounced, like if he was speaking from underwater. I feltlike I was standing beside myself. I watched as I lifted my own handslightly and snapped my fingers. Then everything was back to normal."Yeah, then they snap their fingers like that. Anyway, it turns out themoney comes from that bank robbery, and they have to go to prison. Yougot the money, but you are screwed. See what I mean? You don't gainnothing."Maputo told me that one of his former nerd friends had been a big geekabout genies. "He was really a fanatic. He collected every story, andthen compared them and cross-referenced them. A real loser, you know?Truth is, I didn't want to end up like those. Again. Single. Back to square fucking one. You know, when you make a clumsy, abortive pass at your best friend when you’re twenty, it’s charming, at twenty-five, amusing. At thirty-eight, it’s absurd. This brings us to New Years’ Eve, when I found myself being kissed and caressed on a soon-to-become twenty-minute trek to take out the trash. Fortunately, none of my other friends had the wherewithal to clean up, our absence went slightly, drunkenly noticed. After some animated snogging and furtive caresses, I asked him, casually, if he wanted to move the Aerobed (his usual sleepover spot) into my room. ‘There’s plenty of room…on the floor…’ Just steps away from my underutilized queen-size bed. ‘No, that would be weird.’ Weird? When was this not weird? We’re grown adults and at this point it would be weird not to seal the deal. Fine. I was stunned, disappointed and not a little bit horny. I hit the sack and had the good sense to contract strep throat in the meantime, avoiding the.
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