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Over the next 20 minutes we shared looks and glances at one another, like teenagers at the local shopping mall. Here we sat flirting, without saying a word. At one point I lifted my left hand to show her my lack of a wedding ring. My heart raced as she did the same. These little hijinks went on and on for the first hour of the flight. And then her eyes changed, they got smaller, mischievous, erotic. With the slightest nod of her head, she gestured to the rear of the plane. I nodded so quickly it felt like an involuntary reaction. Like a doctor had just tapped my knee with a mallet, and I kicked as high as Jackie Chan. She calmly stood up, straightened her skirt and took long, purposeful strides to the aft of the plane. Trying not to look overly anxious or too eager, I stood and made my way to the aisle in just enough time to see her disappear into the closet on the right. As I walked down the aisle a thousand thoughts raced through my brain; what if I misunderstood, what. Thaddeus called his masterpiece Novus Mulier. I preferred a differenttitle, the one that, I'd decided, would appear with the enlarged versionof Thaddeus' portrait on the billboard I'd hired for a year. Aftertwelve months of Amanda displayed, larger than life, by the side ofInterstate 95, for millions to see, I figured my revenge upon the bitchwould be nearly as complete as that of the duke who'd displayed theportrait of his last duchess upon his castle's wall. (A "close reading"of the poem's text, literary critics contend, suggests that the speakerof the poem, the duke, murdered his mistress, but there's a limit beyondwhich I am unwilling to go, even in the interest of art--or revenge.)To say that, a week later, Amanda Johnson was turning heads on I-95 isan understatement. She damned near caused wrecks!Of course, there have been legal actions by "outraged" citizens, mostlypuritanical parents of small children, who have demanded that mymasterpiece be removed; some even want the.
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