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Q. Did you hear about the woodworker who fell into a vat of varnish?A. It was a terrible end, but a beautiful finish.I bought a dog from a blacksmith today. As soon as he got home he made a bolt for the door!A blond is walking down the street with one tit hanging out. A cop stops her and says, “Look darling, as pretty a picture as it makes, you’re going to have to put that away. I could cite you for indecent exposure.”“Why?” says the blond.“Your tit is hanging out!” replies the cop, astounded.The blond looks down and says “Oh, shit! I left the baby on the bus again!”A man’s been through a rough patch of health, and the docs can’t work out what’s wrong. After he’s baffled the final expert, his doctor turns to him and says, “We can’t work out why this is happening, but you’re probably going to die in the next three months. What you can do is cut out all fatty and spicy food. Get rid of alcohol, cigarettes, coffee, tea, and any other drugs. take walks every day, but make sure you don’t. “I’m sure you are all wondering why I assembled you here,” he began, Ursi hissed and yowled, translating his English into the Borealan dialect. It occurred to him that he should learn the language himself soon, if it was even possible for human vocal cords to pronounce.“As you all know, Earth has lower gravity than Borealis, to be exact, the gravity here is 77% of the Borealis standard. As well as needing to take your low-G medication that has been provided to you, we must talk about the implications of diet on your health.”He waited for Ursi to finish, and the Borealans looked at each other, some alarmed, perhaps fearing their food might be taken away. Dennis cleared his throat and continued.“Because of the lower gravity, you are burning fewer calories. On Borealis you could eat until you were satisfied, but if you maintain the same dietary habits on Earth, a significant portion of those calories will be converted into fat. Over a long period of time, this fat will accumulate and.
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