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In the absence of KY and Vaseline, he had reached for Bertoluccian inspiration, grabbing a stick of butter from a saucer between their half-eaten croissants and rolling Inez over the way Brando’s ‘Paul’ ravaged Schneider’s ‘Jeanne’ on a polished hardwood floor in a seedy Paris edifice. Although Inez was never impressed by Method acting, she inflated Antoine’s head when she expressed — once her anus had recovered — that ‘you deserve a Golden Globe.’ He recalled countering her quip with, ‘Don’tchu mean ‘Golden Globes,’ honey?’ Glowing across the table from him, she seemed to be reminiscing too, until she remarked, ‘Mmmm, this is some dayum delish lobster! Check out all the sweet meat in this claw, right?’ ‘Sweetie, I love to see you so happy. And with your mouth full.’ Then he tasted a forkful of linguine from his enticing lobster entrée. ‘So you got jokes, hunh,’ she replied, trying to laugh. Her face was beginning to turn as red as the lobster shell she was clutching. ‘No, no. Don’t. I'm not naive."I do DEMAND one thing in return for not being a pain about this," I said rather more sternly than I meant.Rebecca backed away, just a bit, and then asked nervously, "Ok. What?" I DEMAND that you be happy, for a long, long time. I love you too much to think of you being anything but happy. You deserve every bit of happiness in the world, and I hope you find it." I hated being noble. It sucks like a Hoover.She kissed me on the side of my mouth, with a tear in her eye, and walked out of my life. "However," I said as she started to close the door behind her. "If you two don't make it, I retain the right to try and win your heart, again. Be happy. I love you, Rebecca. You certainly earned happiness. Don't ever forget that I love you."Just like that, my lover was transformed into my friend.Colleen was more difficult. Later that night, after Rebecca and I had 'the talk, ' Colleen snuck into my bed for going away sex. She came to me naked, with no pretenses. It was her.
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