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The words were not coming easily."Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?" Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or spend 20 years in jail?'" I remember that too," she replied softly.He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "You know ... I would have gotten out today."Short onesHow many women does it take to change a light bulb?None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.What's the fastest way to a man's heart?Through his chest with a sharp knife.Why are men and parking spaces alike?Because all the good ones are taken and the only ones left are disabled.Why do men want to marry virgins?They can't stand criticism.Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking?Because those men already have boyfriends.What's the difference between a new. . it rattled around and bounced, finally coming to a stop on double zero. "Double zero," he called. "No bets on double zero." He cleared the table."Hold up, Charley ... folks ... I'm gonna need a couple of minutes to check the wheel." He crawled under the table and looked for magnets or screwjacks. The bouncers came over and lifted the wheel and replaced the bearings. I got a good look under the wheel and it's bed ... no tricks I could see."Listen" he whispered to me," ... place a million dollar plaque on 17 ... let's see if we can cut down on your taxes." He opened the wheel to the people. "Bets down? Ladies and gentlemen you have until Charlie says 'No more bets, please, ' to make any bets or remove bets already placed."The wheel was spun ... the ball went next. As soon as the ball ticked one of the metal pockets, Charley said, "No more bets, please."The ball rattled around ... like they do ... it bounced out of seventeen twice before it finally fell in 17. That paid 35 million..
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