Now with her scrunched so close to me, she swung her leg over the bench so she could straddle it and have me at her complete mercy. She left me with practically no breathing room and certainly no wiggle room.Cousin Julie’s fingers quickly swept to my slit and as though to help cement my position, took my hair and held my face against hers, so she could get me accustomed to kissing her, as her tongue pierced my lips while one finger slid inside. I couldn’t just let my hands remain idle so I had to place them on Cousin Julie, whose nightie fell away or made access easy for me. She was the dominant one with her tongue, so I had to submit, and that was okay, to submit to Julie’s advances.Cousin Julie’s facial focal point pushed Auntie Annie’s presence to the background. It was like her physical form had been greatly blurred. But her attentive gaze was as palpable as if she too kissed me. Though the kisses between Julie and me—not to mention the slight slurp my wetness created from her. . I just don't know.That was the start of it, I think. Doctor Jamison gave me a list of books to read and it was a revelation to me. Alcohol takes a woman and turns her inside out. Like one of them says, it's the most effective date rape drug in the world. It deadens the thinking processes and lowers inhibitions to the point of non-existence. Heavy drinking is such a self-destructive thing to do too. It makes the body react hard in order to throw off the poisons and it alters the body's chemistry.Doctor Jamison has helped me figure out I was drinking hard so I could make myself numb and not have to deal with the things I was feeling. It didn't work. It only made me more vulnerable to Brian. It made it easy for him to get me to sleep with him even though I really didn't like him. I knew he was one of those men who think every woman is a "score," and who feel nothing for the woman as a human being. I knew he was a scummy thing to begin with and I knew it every time I let him do things.
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