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It was quite stimulating to flow over Digital Underground beats from The Humpty Dance or Tone Lcs Funky Cold Medina with a bar full of Hoosiers bobbing their heads to the rhythm of the music. After one of my more theatrical performances of The Humpty Dance (complete with three drunk chicks behind me chanting do me, baby during the chorus), the bar MC summarized my exhibition by announcing over the speaker system, Hes really white but Im telling you, that guys got soul! Toward the end of the summer, I became a barroom regular where I often rapped karaoke jingles for the drunken hoards of Indiana natives. I typically received standing ovations, complete with hoots and hollers, for my stunning wigger demonstrations. Little did I realize at the time, my karaoke gigs garnered the attention of several wanton housewives over the summer months, one of whom took a quick liking to me. While performing the chorus of Funky Cold Medina one night, I took notice of a white trash milf who was. But even those in our band who enjoyed this kind of Rock and Country music (which definitely didn’t include me) wouldn’t feel welcome in a bar where the women clientele were mostly there for business. ‘Let’s hope our gig doesn’t get pulled after that drive,’ Andrea remarked when we collected the keys to our bedrooms. ‘There are two gigs,’ said Crystal. ‘There’s one tomorrow night and another on Friday. A cancellation would be very expensive. I’ll check out the situation as soon as we’ve eaten.’ It was early evening and we’d not rested once on our long drive from the Virginia side of the North Carolina State Border where we’d stayed the night at a shabby motel on the Old Pipers Gap Road. ‘Do we have any gigs after Rock Hill?’ Olivia wondered. ‘Not for over a week,’ Crystal answered. ‘There’s one in Baltimore, Maryland, and then another in New York again. Brooklyn this time. And that’ll be our last concert!’ ‘About fucking time!’ snorted Jane. ‘This tour’s been a nightmare from.
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